We were doing so well
I'm with a wonderful boy that I'm crazy about
A boy that would do anything for me
He really is quite perfect except for his cranky days
I had moved on, kicked the habit
At least thats what I thought

Then he walked into the room
I started trembling and the room started spinning
It was hard to focus
He held me tight to him and talked to me like he used to
He says he's staying...
I think he forgets that I'm leaving
but even so, he is closer

And now, in this day in time, I am the most torn and confused I have ever been
Of course all of me is pulling towards him, my addiction
Because he's all to me that he always was
But I know better, I have to, because someone else is involved
Someone else is counting on me
And all I feared would happened, has

Maybe I'm being a little dramatic
But a love triangle?
Isn't that meant to be dramatic?

I know I said forever, over and over

I write on xanga because its the only blog that very few people have access to
And even less people that I actually know

The blog for today is about my serious commitment issues
So Before him I was not looking for a man
didn't even necessarily want one
Then he came along and I made a commitment to him
We agreed we should try a relationship together
[[this took alot of deliberation on my part and alot of persuasion on his]]
But here we are in our oh-so-flawed psuedo relationship
which I've only 3 people and now xanga about
And as much as I hate myself for it, all I can think about now is how great hooking up with other guys would be
When I meet a new guy, I think "I bet he's a great kisser." or "I could see myself with him."
There is seriously something wrong with me
I don't make commitments. I never have. But I thought I'd give it a try for him.
He says he loves me, I say hes crazy

How Do I keep myself in check?
My addiction comes home in a month...will I stay true even with him around
I don't know

"She says He's a masochist for falling for me"