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Sunday, 27 July 2008

  • Never take friendship personal

    We were doing so well
    I'm with a wonderful boy that I'm crazy about
    A boy that would do anything for me
    He really is quite perfect except for his cranky days
    I had moved on, kicked the habit
    At least thats what I thought

    Then he walked into the room
    I started trembling and the room started spinning
    It was hard to focus
    He held me tight to him and talked to me like he used to
    He says he's staying...
    I think he forgets that I'm leaving
    but even so, he is closer

    And now, in this day in time, I am the most torn and confused I have ever been
    Of course all of me is pulling towards him, my addiction
    Because he's all to me that he always was
    But I know better, I have to, because someone else is involved
    Someone else is counting on me
    And all I feared would happened, has

     

    Maybe I'm being a little dramatic
    But a love triangle?
    Isn't that meant to be dramatic?

     

    I know I said forever, over and over

     


     

Thursday, 03 July 2008

Monday, 30 June 2008

  • Won't trust a hoe and won't trust me

    I write on xanga because its the only blog that very few people have access to
    And even less people that I actually know

    The blog for today is about my serious commitment issues
    So Before him I was not looking for a man
    didn't even necessarily want one
    Then he came along and I made a commitment to him
    We agreed we should try a relationship together
    [[this took alot of deliberation on my part and alot of persuasion on his]]
    But here we are in our oh-so-flawed psuedo relationship
    which I've only 3 people and now xanga about
    And as much as I hate myself for it, all I can think about now is how great hooking up with other guys would be
    When I meet a new guy, I think "I bet he's a great kisser." or "I could see myself with him."
    There is seriously something wrong with me
    I don't make commitments. I never have. But I thought I'd give it a try for him.
    He says he loves me, I say hes crazy

    How Do I keep myself in check?
    My addiction comes home in a month...will I stay true even with him around
    I don't know

     

    "She says He's a masochist for falling for me"

Friday, 13 June 2008

  • Its a bleeder

    I've decided it was/is an infatuation. Nothing more. Wait, maybe infatuation isn't the right word.
    [[Addiction]]
    Yeah, thats better, its an addiction
    A need: to see his name whenever i get online, to wish he would talk to me, to think about him constantly, to take him into consideration whenever i make lifechanging decisions, to long for him to come home, to hope he never finds another.
    I'm addicted to him.
    how sick is that
    I hate it. I hate that I need him. Crave him.
    Knowing full well that he doesn't feel the same.

    "Dream of me"
    If he only knew how unfair it is that I do. And it kills me a little more everytime I see his face in my mind.
    Is he being intentionally cruel?


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slaterXmic

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    • Name: Laura
    • Country: United States
    • State: Colorado
    • Metro: Fort Collins
    • Birthday: 9/29/1989
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 6/28/2004

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  • I'm laura, I'm LDS, and I'm lovely. Its very easy to get caught in circumstance...its even easier to break out in a dance!!!

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